- How old am I:
- I'm 26 years old
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- I can speak:
- English, Kazakh
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Making friends can be daunting, something I recently found out after moving to a new city. But University of Kansas researcher Jeffrey A. Hall has helped demystify the process of friendship-building in a new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Hall surveyed college students every three weeks during their first nine weeks at a Midwestern university.
Making and keeping friends:
Subscriber active since. When you are a kid, gaining a best friend forever can happen in a single playdate. But when you grow up to be an adult, making and maintaining friendship gets harder. Suddenly, you need to compete with young babies, ificant others, and fully-booked work schedules to find quality time and earn the title of "friend.
But how much quality time do you need before that stranger becomes your pal?
Get ready to block off a good chunk of time if you want to earn the elusive title of best friend. A new study published in the 'Journal of Social and Personal Relationships' recently calculated that, on average, it takes about 50 hours of time with someone before you consider them a casual friend, 90 hours before you become real friends, and about hours to become close friends.
To determine this, the study's author Jeffrey Hall, a communications professor at the University of Kansas, recruited adults in desperate need of friends in two experiments — people who had just moved to a new city in the past six months and college freshmen — and asked them to rate and track the degree of closeness and time spent together with a new person. You do not have to be chatty to gain a friend, but you do need to invest in quality time. The study found that the portion of time spent talking together, or the fact that you spent time at school or work with them, were factors unrelated to friendship closeness.
Just spending time in proximity together is not enough to become friends with someone, otherwise we would all be best buddies with the coworkers who see us more than our families. Relationships with our coworkers count as "closed systems wherein members have little influence on who else is included in the group," the research found. But these are not relationships of choice.
You do not need to become besties with your coworkers to develop meaningful relationships with them. But for those of us hoping to make the leap from "girl who I eat lunch at work with" to "friend I can count on in a crisis," Hall suggests that you need to take the relationship out of the workplace for it to become a friendship. The participants who did activities outside of work with someone, such as being invited to their home, were more likely to develop deeper relationships with them. World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options.
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How long does it take to make a friend?
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Monica TorresLadders. A recent study found that the average adult needs to spend 50 hours of time with a person to consider them a casual friend. It also found that it takes approximately hours to think of a person as a close friend.
1. realize your fear is in your head
In order to make lasting adult friendships with colleagues, it is important to remove the friendship from the workplace and spend time together outside the office. Stay up to date with what you want to know.
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