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  • I am 19
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It used to be that making new pals was as easy as recess in the schoolyard. Adulthood, however, poses its own obstacles to finding your ride or die —the least of which are crammed schedules, parental duties, and not wanting to leave your comfort zone, especially if you're an introvert. But these platonic relationships can be so vital. Just as dating apps have helped to solve the dilemma of finding love in the digital ageapps to make friends are working to fill another void. For those looking for a new workout buddy or kindly neighbor to get coffee with on the weekends, try Bumble BFF. Dog lovers can find companions on Pawdates.

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Common attributes that come to mind include intelligence, kindness, sense of humor, attractiveness, or reliability.

We may think we are looking for a partner who complements us only in positive ways, but on an unconscious level, we are frequently drawn to people who complement us in negative ways as well. What this means is that we tend to pick partners who fit in with our existing emotional baggage. We are inclined to replay events and dynamics that hurt us in the past in our adult relationships. Were they too controlling? Did they make you feel a way you felt in your past?

Did the situation mirror a dynamic from your childhood? No person is perfect, of course, but here are eight key qualities to look for in a partner:.

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Every person comes equipped with flaws and emotional baggage. Seeking perfection is an idle search. Instead, what you should look for in a partner is emotional maturity. This means someone who is willing to think and learn about themselves, who is open to reflecting on the past and evolving in the present. This certain someone should be non-reactive, in the sense that they think before they act.

Along with emotional maturity, one of the things to look for in a partner is an openness to feedback. Not only should your partner be interested in changing his or her own self-limiting behaviors, but he or she should be open to hearing what you have to say.

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Open and honest communication is vital to sustaining a close relationship. When a couple is willing to openly communicate about themselves and their feelings and reactions to each other, they avoid building a case and creating tensions that later tear them apart. By being resilient and hearing each other out, they construct a solid foundation for a workable relationship that is sure to evolve over time. While deception is generally frowned upon, lying is sadly common in many relationships.

Some couples believe they need lies to survive, yet research shows that lying less is linked to better relationships. Being able to trust is so important when choosing a life partner. Look for someone whose actions meet their words and someone who is open about how they feel. Someone who hides aspects of themselves can leave you feeling insecure and mistrusting. One of the most valuable qualities to look for in a partner is respect. When you find someone who encourages you to be yourself, you can feel secure in your relationship, yet independent within yourself.

This attuned way of relating is both sensitive and respectful of who you are as an individual, separate from your partner.

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When someone appreciates you and takes an interest in the things you are passionate about, you can really share life with this person, while continuing to pursue your unique interests. People often make the mistake of thinking that a relationship is a way for two people to become one.

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Attempting to merge your identity with someone else is not only bad for you, but bad for the relationship. When couples fall into routine and forego their independent attraction to each other, things tend to go south. By maintaining your individuality: enjoying separate interests along with interests you share with your partner, keeping your outside friendships and always trying new things, you keep romance and attraction alive.

In addition to being a good communicator, you should look for a partner who is empathetic.

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When you have a partner who aims to understand and feel for what you experience, you are able to be more vulnerable and reveal more aspects of yourself. Compassion is one of the most important human traits, and you should strive to find a partner who can easily feel for other people. Physical affection is an important part of life.

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It is a way people stay connected and close to those they love. Keeping your relationship vital and intimate is part of making love last. Keeping your feelings alive means expressing them verbally and physically.

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Laughter is the best medicine when it comes to most things, but especially relationships. Someone who is happy to just hang out, have fun and laugh with you is someone worth sticking with.

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Being easy-going and willing to laugh at yourself are highly beneficial characteristics to look for in a partner. A person who is lighthearted can be well worth getting serious with. We may be drawn to more specific traits like creativity or work ethic, green thumbs or blue eyes.

Yet, choosing people who strive to live by the qualities listed above will help ensure our best chance at happiness in our relationship. In this Webinar: Both clinicians and researchers have noted the importance of close interpersonal relationships for the development of personality, character, and overall….

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You know, this list is a perfect filter or checklist with dating. I am my own victim of fantasy bonds. If I follow this advice things will certainly improve. I believe and know that I am a good women, I respect a man and myself too.

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I was married, now engaged and I believe this one is not for me. We tend to take relationships for granted, I think its about time for one to rethink and just not go into a relationship for the sake.

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At first the person will be promising, I am referring to little things. All I ever wanted was a good relationship with God being the centre, as I believe everything that we get to wish for will follow. God is important in a relationship, all the best to everyone. Now days, you can easily find the good women using dating sites. Before marriage, dating with her is good option to know about her. So now, dating website plays very important role in find good life partner. Look up codependency…. Celebrate Recovery meetings helped me tremendously.

Sometimes We tend to take relationships for granted, I think its about time for one to rethink and just not go into a relationship for the sake. I know right, I almost made a relationship official where I was constantly trying to please him and was blind to how toxic it. I lost my husband who was so loving and kind a d who had really spoiled me.

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Am wondering if there is any man out there who can match him. Its rather lonely all one but I try to keep myself engaged in farming. Am a grandmother though. I was engaged to someone so selfish it hurts just by talking about it. We were in a relationship where physical attraction was none existent.

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Communication was horrible as he thought everything was about him. Thanks for this article. What to Look For in a Partner. Learn More. About the Author. Help support our effort to bring psychological information to the public by making a donation. Related Articles.

Reply take time to know her it wont be difficult to find a right woman Reply. Reply Good one Reply.

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Celebrate Recovery meetings helped me tremendously Reply Sometimes We tend to take relationships for granted, I think its about time for one to rethink and just not go into a relationship for the sake. Reply True. Hello… How can I find Mr. Reply Hi, how can I find my Mr. The secret of success is to stick to your own goals and beliefs Reply. Nice Reply.

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Do what you feel comfortable with Reply. I need a good relationship and for good partner Reply.

I looking 60 years honestly no drink alcohol good Give respect Reply. I really dislike the word addict to describe someone. There is a common pattern to the way many people tell stories about their emotions, particularly emotions that come up….

A lot of couples talk to me about their struggles to stay close to each other in a way that…. Related Articles Fantasy Bond June 10, What is a fantasy bond? Every couple goes through rough patches. Yet, when these patches stretch out into long-term struggles, how can we tell if…. We asked relationship expert Dr. Lisa Firestone for her advice on everything from how to make love last to how….

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