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We took the leap and moved away from home and we both know the feeling of being completely free, but also completely scared. We also know the pure joy of having Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons and an empty apartment waiting to be decorated. Every picture messily taped to the wall holds a funny memory or exciting choice in our lives that led us here. Those moments led us to this apartment, this city, and to our quest of following our dreams. We may take pictures down of boys or friends that have disappeared from our lives due to heartbreak or even just a small heartache. Like how we have a joke that our upstairs neighbors must be bunnies because it sounds like they are hopping around up there.


When it's time to get a roommate, you may think that living with a friend is a good idea — a very good idea. However, you may hear that's often not the case. After all, just because you know somebody inside and out as a friendyou don't know them as someone you live with.

Why living with your best friend isn’t always the best idea

Everybody — yourself included — has idiosyncrasies and habits that may seem normal to them, but foreign or unacceptable to someone else. Just because they make a very good friend does not mean they'll make a very good roommate. Pathak, founder of the Center for Soulful Relationshipstells Bustle.

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Instead, go into the situation with an open mind. Sure, your roommate-to-be might tell you they are a clean person, and their idea of clean might be very different than yours.

13 best friends who are roommates share how they make it work

When you can keep that in mind, it makes developing resentments a lot less likely. I can definitely relate to what Pathak said, and I'll bet you can, too. Now here's what millennial women had to say on the topic of living together ruining their friendshipsbecause it's probably more common than you may think. After only a month, his girlfriend had moved in and, while they were Roommate and bestfriend house, I was forced into a Three's Company situation against my will. It's one thing when your roommate has sleepovers a few times a week; it's another when you walk into your apartment after work and it looks like a Hamburger Helper bomb went off in the kitchen.

One time, I dropped by the apartment in between the work day to take my dog out, and his girlfriend was using my sewing machine to make mermaid-like hair extensions. For weeks, there were tumbleweeds of blue and purple hair rolling across my wood floors with every breeze.

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It wasn't until my dog coughed up a large cotton candy-colored hairball that I had to put my foot down. I kicked them both out and just ate the cost of rent until my lease ended. She would be rude to my boyfriend when he was over, too. She ended up meeting a guy on Hinge and moving in with him instead, two and half months into dating.

How to be roommates with a best friend & survive (with friendship intact)

Seemed crazy to me since she hardly knew him! Ironically, we had JUST ed our lease for another year. She told me about two weeks after we ed it, and somehow got our landlord to comply with an addendum. Luckily, I was able to find an awesome roommate who went to school with me and just moved to the area, so it all worked out in the end! Cleanliness, the ability to spend money responsibly, respect for other people's space and belongings — these are all make-or-break life skills that can ruin a roommate situation and a friendship.

You can only ask them so many times to get it together; if there still aren't any improvements after a while, it starts to feel like there's not a lot of respect for your relationship on their end.

20 things that happen when your roommate is your best friend

The final straw for me was the maggot-infested box of old Chinese takeout that was shoved in the back of her closet worst game of Find the Smell ever. Spending so much time together at home made our outings movies, dinner, shopping together less exciting, fun, and enjoyable overall.

When we weren't roommates, we had the BEST time together. As roommates, our relationship fizzled. One of my roommates, let's call her Elizabeth, was the one that I really had issues with.

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We all thought that living together would be a great idea, we were such great friends after all, but living with someone is a lot different than being friends with someone. We seemed to get on each other's nerves a lot, which led to a lot of passive-aggressive behavior. If I asked her to keep it down on a Saturday, it would upset her, and she would take it out on me by getting upset at me for walking around the apartment late at night.

It seemed like we just couldn't keep out of each other's way. But the one incident that provoked me to end our friendship really took a toll on me. We had come back from a Roommate and bestfriend out at the bars and I was on my phone. She started to scream at me because I was on my phone and hadn't been paying attention.

Then she proceeded to yell at me about my relationship status. She had wanted me to go out with a mutual friend of ours but I insisted that I wasn't interested, which made her very upset that night.

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After that night, she didn't really get that I had no interest in being her friend. She didn't think the way she had spoken to me was in any way problematic, even after I explained that it was. The rest of the time we lived together, I constantly avoided her and avoided hanging out with her because I'm not big on confrontation.

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Living together definitely ruined our friendship, and I never want to attempt to live with one of my friends again. I was out of the apartment a lot, and she ended up decorating everything without my input so the apartment ended up feeling like hers.

An open letter to my roommate and best friend

She claimed she was being nice, but, by the end of it, I felt like I could only hang out in my room. She ended up renewing the lease and I decided to move out — because she renewed, the apartment complex wouldn't give us our deposit back. When I approached her about my share, she claimed it wasn't her problem and to ask her new roommate who I didn't know and who didn't have any obligation to pay me.

I never got that money back.

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I think, at first, it was a lack of communication — her about wanting to decorate and not including me, and me about not expressing my feelings — but then I felt like it changed into just complete lack of regard for me. Our different personalities strengthened our friendship outside of the house, but inside of the house, it made things difficult. My friend we're still friends! Now that we're not living together anymore, our friendship is back to where it first was. I obliged — even though it meant a much longer commute to work, less privacy, and kind of a random neighborhood.

I was just so excited at the idea of having slumber parties every night and spending as much time as possible together before I moved away.

11 millennial women reveal how living with their bff destroyed their friendships

But it totally ruined our friendship. She was moody, controlling, and had her future roommate move in for the last month of my stay without contributing rent. The whole time I lived there, I lived in renovations as they prepped for my departure. I'm sure year-old immature me didn't help the situation either.

Rooming with your best friend: pro’s and cons

It's been seven years and we haven't spoken since. I then lived alone since moving in with my boyfriend. Probably for the best. But if you were already friends, it'll be even worse, and I wish you a LOT of luck! It's best to leave your friends where they are now — NOT as roommates; at least, if you want to keep them as friends!

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We became like an old married couple — but without any of the romantic perks. Every little thing she did drove me crazy, and every little thing I did drove her crazy, too. I mean, we went from making dinner together every night to preferring to eat separately or alone in our rooms! So our communal space became HER space, and that wasn't right.

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We decided to rent a duplex together and we did everything together to set it all up — trips to IKEA, painting all the rooms, you name it, we did it! But then the singing started We even made her a 'singing schedule,' but then she'd say how she hadn't practiced enough the day before, or she had a big audition coming up Roommate and bestfriend needed to sing a while. Even with noise-cancelling headphones, I'd still hear her practicing.

I went from loving her singing to hating it! Whether the above gave you bad-roommate flashbacks or just gave you insight into what can go wrong if you decide to live with a friend, I think the takeaway is key: Proceed with caution. Though the idea of living with a friend may sound like fun, sometimes, if you're too similar or too opposite, or if you just have different expectations and don't lay everything out there before you a lease together, things can go downhill — and fast.

And, as with every relationship you have, communication is keyfriend-roommate or not.

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By Natalia Lusinski. Jorge Flores.

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Of course, living with a best friend CAN be a ton of fun.


You can see it now: coordinating dorm decorations and endless nights of laughter and mischief.


If you're looking to move into a new place, you may wonder: Can best friends be roommates?