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Our individual preferences vary greatly and fluctuate throughout our lives. Societal attitudes also change over time. How often do most people have sex?


If you want more oral sex, you’re not alone. here’s how to ask for it

Skip ! Story from Sex. That same study found that That said, as these s indicate, you're also not alone if you don't love oral sex — giving or receiving. Some people hate it. Others could take it or leave it. Some might prefer another kind of sex, whether that be manual stimulation, vaginal sex, anal sex, using a sex toy, or something else. There are plenty of other things to do in bed.

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When it comes to oral sexthere is a gender and sexuality gap, according to research. While partners of any gender and sexuality can feel differently about the frequency they'd like to give and receive oral sex, various studies have indicated this discrepancy is most common for women dating men.

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That study about oral sex and pleasure we mentioned before? Another study, this one fromlooked at differences in frequency of orgasm in straight, bisexual, lesbian, and gay men and women. One major reason for this orgasm gap? Straight men were giving oral sex far less frequently than any other group. Well, unfortunately, it seems like DJ Khaled is not alone in this misguided belief.

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But although women who date men are most likely to be in this situation, partners of any gender and sexuality can find that they have different desires when it comes to oral sex. The point is, everyone deserves to ask for exactly what they want. If you do love receiving oral sex, or you would like to try it, you should be able to talk to your partner about your desires.

With that in mind, we put together some suggestions for how to start this conversation. Make It Hot. Combining your suggestion with dirty talk is probably the most fun way to go about it.

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There are lots of ways we can talk about sex. Be Direct. Because the sex scenes we see in porn and movies are so seamlessly and wordlessly choreographed, it's easy to forget that it's totally normal to make suggestions during sex.

You can simply be direct. If not, respect their boundaries and don't pressure or push. Consent is mandatoryof course, and it only counts when it's freely given.

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Let's say your partner isn't as interested in oral as you are, or maybe they're super into receiving but not giving, or maybe you just simply want to have this conversation well before things get hot and heavy — whatever the case may be, the discussion doesn't have to be restricted to the bedroom. Would you be open to trying it? How would you feel about going down on me more often? You don't want to sound accusing here.

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As Rachel NeedlePsyD, ly told Refinery29"Start off with something positive about your relationship, including your sexual relationship. Use feeling words and 'I' statements, [so you don't put] your partner on the defensive. Try to go into this conversation with an open mind. If your partner has reservations about giving you oral sex, listen to what their concerns are.

What are sexual norms?

Have they experienced trauma around oral sex in the past? Are they worried about STIs?

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You could suggest getting tested together and using a barrier method during oral. So, You've Talked — Now What? Sex is an important part of a relationshipafter all. Only you can decide what's best for you. Once, when we were having sex, I caught my atte. We were sitting at a terrazzo-to. Shortly after I moved to L. She brought a housewarming gift with her: a ta. Some people stuck to video and.

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Posted August 11, Reviewed by Devon Frye.