- I like:
- Eye tint:
- I’ve got enormous gray-blue eyes
- My gender is girl
- What is my Zodiac sign:
- My figure features:
- I'm slender
- My favourite drink:
- Body tattoos:
Are you kidding me?
I logged onto my second-hand desktop, waited for the whirr of the old dial up to grind to life, and logged into my real life. Online, I was me. I was Erin. I was a girl my age who played soccer, who had friends, and who loved to read classic books. I was sporty and smart, with long auburn hair that I insisted should always be worn in a ponytail.
It was a fantasy as well as self-actualization. I grew up in a world without resources for queer youth, without any role models or idols to reflect my own identity and experiences. That was fake. Online roleplaying helped nurture and create a core identity for me in my youth that I could cling to and find a safe place to grow from.
It helped me turn away from self-hatred, resentment, and continual embarrassment to a quiet new confidence. When I was older, it also helped me come to an understanding of what my body meant to me, and how I felt comfortable expressing myself sexually.
Eventually, when I was dating a partner who had a history of sexual trauma, online roleplay was a useful tool for her as well. My partner, a beautiful, insanely smart and funny woman was, by day, absolutely perfect. She was the best at her job, hardworking beyond belief, and an endless source of encouragement and support for me.
Physical touch was impossible for her. She told me that even the lightest touch on her shoulder felt like needles on her skin. That wrapping my arms around her from behind instantly conjured memories of his breath on her neck.
Any sort of sexual touching invariably led to tears as I held her, while she was forced to relive the pain of her sexual trauma. She was in the impossible position of badly wanting intimacy — the simple comfort of a loving touch — but knowing that every time she tried it would bring the nightmares back. Her story is different from mine, but we found some peace in the same way: We started online roleplaying with each other.
We both loved to write and game, so it felt like a natural fit for us. At first it was just little adventures that we would type to one another, fun stories about characters that fought demons and corrupt kings. We had fun and, for the first time, we were truly intimate with each other.
Pick a setting and characters
Being online and in different rooms, we were able to find romance and sex by what many people would call glorified sexting. It was wild, it was romantic, it was passionate. Because roleplaying allowed her to experience positive sexuality without the triggering pain of physical touch, she was slowly able to reconnect with her sexuality and create her own sexual autonomy separate from her trauma.
Roleplaying, when done in a safe and consensual way, served like training wheels until she felt safe including physical bodies again. Today we hardly ever roleplay at all, and our physical connection is stronger than it has ever been. But I wish I could invite every queer person to try it for themselves.
It can be wild and loud or sweet and gentle, impossible and bizarre, casual or the start of something new. If you are patient and a little brave, you can even use it to find yourself or find each other. Best of all, it is easy and free: no equipment or special moves required.
Your divorce risk doubles if you disagree on this
All you need is a smartphone, a computer, or if you really want to be old fashioned, some pen and paper. It may seem awkward at first, but let your partner know that you are trying out a new way to intimately connect with them. Have an open and honest discussion with your partner about your expectations and what you both would like to get out of this. This part is important because it helps lay the groundwork for consent and helps ensure that everyone feels safe going in. The difference between online roleplay and sexting is pretty simple. Honestly, this part is one of the most fun since you get to pick any scenario that you want.
Want to roleplay out a really gay version of Twilight? What about the Hogwarts romance of your dreams? Maybe a reverse damsel-in-distress story is your scene.
This is up to you! You can make a backstory that is short and simple, or long and complex. Personality: What type of person is your character? Are they quiet and brooding, or talkative and happy-go-lucky? Appearance: How does your character look?
Blonde hair or blue hair?
If you bought any of these bre, don't eat them
Androgynous or ultra femme? Feel free to get detailed, or keep it vague. I like to dim the lights and burn a few scented candles. In my experience, part of online roleplaying is using the internet as a filter to help you get comfortable exploring sexual themes that might be too embarrassing or triggering to explore in person. Being close to one another, but perhaps in a different room, can really enhance the overall experience and give you the freedom to type up whatever you want without feeling immediately judged for it.
This is cooperative story-telling at its best. I always like to start with a bit of action to get the blood pumping, but feel free to start in any way you want. Be descriptive in your first post.
40 erotic role play ideas that'll totally spice up your sex life
This can be long and super descriptive, or it can be short and more to the point. Once you both get into the flow of things and your characters begin to converse, your posts can get much shorter to keep a quick pace. To keep things simple and consistent, try to choose one tense to write in before you begin: present tense or past tense.
You also generally want to write in the third-person. She was soaked, cold, and even worse, probably late for class. Roleplayer Jackie saw Elizabeth walking up the sidewalk in front of her and jogged up the hill to catch up. Like those guys who walk around campus barefoot? Sounds like fun. If you would like more examples, I encourage you to pick up just about any romance novel of your choosing and flipping to any scene where both of the main characters are talking to one another.
Think of it as extended foreplay, but with the added bonus that it lets you seriously explore sexual concepts that you might otherwise not share due to societal pressures and norms. There you are, six steps to trying out a new adventure into intimacy with your partner! Like any sexual exploration, communication is critical.
If you follow these steps, maintain an open mind, and communicate boundaries, roleplay can be a great way to explore your likes and dislikes, the interplay of all of our unique identities, and nurture a deeper intimate connection with our partners.
Brie is a transwoman attorney living in New Orleans with her wonderful butch wife and terribly misbehaved hound dog. She is an avid writer, lover of novels, and passionate dog-mom. What a wonderful article! This is so great! I love how you broke down each step of this progress and explained everything to beginners. Thank you for sharing. You've decided to leave a comment. That's fantastic. Please keep in mind that comments are moderated by the guidelines laid out in our comment policy.
Let's have a personal and meaningful conversation and thanks for stopping by! Here are some steps to help guide you on your roleplay journey: Talk to your partner It may seem awkward Online role playing and sexting first, but let your partner know that you are trying out a new way to intimately connect with them. Pick a setting and characters The difference between online roleplay and sexting is pretty simple. Here are some guidelines to help you craft your post: 1. Related: online dating. Brie Brie is a transwoman attorney living in New Orleans with her wonderful butch wife and terribly misbehaved hound dog.
Brie has written 1 article for us. You May Also Like The Drag Kings of Taipei. As someone who has many years under their belt roleplaying via Livejournal, I love this article. Reply to This Comment. Thank you for sharing Loading Contribute to the conversation