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It's completely normal to wonder whether your relationship will last. And there are a lot of different indicators about what makes a strong relationship or a weak one, but we often overlook one of the most basic and obvious tells: how do you spend your time together? If you feel present and comfortable around each other, if you have fun, and if you communicate wellconsider yourselves on the right track. So if you really like this person, you can hold off on judging how compatible you really are till then.


When you're in love with someone, it only makes sense that you would want to spend as much time with them as possible.

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But sometimes life gets busy, we get distracted, and that can put a real cramp on your quality time together. In this case, it's good to take note of the most effective ways to communicate these needs to your partner. Rhodesa d psychologist, dating expert, and founder of Rapport Relationships; and Diana Dorell intuitive dating coach and author of The Dating Mirror: Trust Again, Love Again for their insight into what you should keep in mind when you're ready to compose your message.

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Here's what they had to say. This is why texting to speak up about wanting more quality time can be really appealing.

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Rhodes agrees that more communication is better, even via text, but cautions that you should do so thoughtfully. An in-person conversation would be better.

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On the other hand, if you have concluded that texting really is the best way for you to approach the topic of your SO spending more time with you, all that remains is figuring out what exactly to type. The experts concur that it really all depends on your comfort level. For instance, if you are shy or nervous about reaching out, Chlipala says sending a text to test the waters may be a good idea.

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What ideas do you have around that? Or if you are feeling more confident, just go ahead and set up a time to see them. Our favorite restaurant tomorrow night?

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Not only do these texts communicate the obvious you want to see them morebut they also offer your partner a roadmap for exactly what you want — in this case, more face-to-face quality time. Rhodes agrees, but suggests starting with some self-reflection so you are clear in what you are asking for — and why.

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Ultimately, if you are in a relationship, you really should be able to speak up about what you need. Start with a text suggesting the kind of quality time you'd like. Do you want to go on a date?

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Do you want to Netflix and chill? Do you want to just do the "chill" part? Hopefully, your partner will pick up what you're putting down.

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Jennifer B. Rhodesa d psychologist, dating expert, and founder of Rapport Relationships. By Rachel Shatto and Hannah Kerns.

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Updated: July 1, Originally Published: Jan. Search Close.

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