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Especially as we get older, men often have fewer close male friendships. Yet, according to researchwe crave intimacy in our friendships just as much as women. Worst of all, this lack of close relationships could be very, very bad for us. Prolonged loneliness can have serious consequences for cognition, emotion, behavior, and health —and may even speed up physiological aging. Ironically, as we start our journey to becoming men, some of us become preoccupied by worries about not fully reaching some manly ideal.


Growing up changes how we relate to other men

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What after-school passion should you pursue this year? I want guy friends! All my friends are girls, but I really want guy friends, too. I'm starting to get a little sick of how my girl friends are so caught up in how they look.

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Sometimes I feel more comfortable with boys. I talk to them a lot, but in my school, no one has BGFs. You are either dating a guy, or you're not. How can I approach boys so they will be my friends, and how do I make it clear to other people that we are NOT dating? Hey girl, I totally understand how you feel!

Other barriers to male friendship

All through high school I loved having a group of girls to hang with, but it would have been great to also have some guy friends! Once I got older, I found it a little easier to talk to guys.

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One of the most important things about having a guy friend is thinking of him like a regular person rather than someone who could become your future BF. If you think of boys as a different species, you may be more self-conscious and not act like yourself, so take the pressure off by treating them as you would girl acquaintances. Becoming part of a club at school or a sports team is a great way to meet guys who have the same interests as you. Working on projects, activities or sports drills will bring you closer, and you may find common bonds with guys you never knew you had.

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I met some of my guy friends through my girl friends that were friends with boys. My friend group was all girls, but when even just one of my close girl friends had a guy friend, it became much easier to become friends with the guy or guys also. I know you said nobody at your school has BGFs, but if you can think of a girl friend that has guy friends, ask to be part of the next Wii match or basketball competition with your bestie and the guys.

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Or, maybe you have a boy cousin or relative who can introduce you to some other boys your age. POLL Fave summer clothes? Quizzes What's your next book obsession?

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It's challenging enough to make new gal pals , but just how do you go about adding a few dudes to your roster of friends?


Last Updated: May 28,


To curb possible jealousy, suspicion or tension, here are a few tips for keeping your guy friends close, but your boyfriend closer.