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But what does it mean to be bored in a relationship? In relationships, boredom is often the term used to name a negative, ambiguous feeling. It might even present alongside feelings of grief for what we perceive to be the end of our relationship or even lead to affairs. Why are we so hesitant to talk about it? Or we feel ashamed — ashamed of not being in control of our feelings as an adult.


Things are naturally fresh and exciting.

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Over time, of course, life gets busy and new becomes routine. Boredom is a natural byproduct of this, especially when you forget to focus on your relationship.

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Boredom can lead to bad decisions. Eye contact is a cornerstone of nonverbal communicationone that is vital for relationships. It informs someone that they are the object of your attention, allows you to see them clearly, and feeds you those feel-good chemicals. But many couples, per Slatkin, have a hard time actually doing it.

7 ways to save a boring marriage (before it's too late)

The everyday distractions of kids, screens, and life in general tend to keep couples from doing this and, as a result, lose connection. Where have you been all this time? You see the same house, the same office, the same supermarket, day in and day out. The lack of new places and new surroundings can rob a marriage of its excitement and sense of adventure. That happy hour spot with the dollar oysters.

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That dive bar with the crooked pool table. That hiking trail, special out-of-the-way location, or any place from the past that takes the both of you back to the moment where you first felt that spark.

Your divorce risk doubles if you disagree on this

Whatever it is, learning new skills together is an easy way to spend time together. More so, learning new things stimulates your brains, creating new neural pathways and sparking excitement.

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When was the last time you told your spouse how great he or she really was? The admiring spouse shares three physical characteristics, three behaviors, and three qualities they like about their spouse.

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They face their spouse, who is sitting down, share one item, and continue the process until they are finished. This exercise really changes the energy in the room and the relationship and allows the spouse on the receiving end to truly feel cherished. What better way to break the routine than to actually do something that completely surprises your partner?

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Just hitting them with an unexpected gesture or action could ignite that feeling of excitement and anticipation that fueled the early days of your marriage. Sometimes that unexpectedness, even more than the action itself, is what your partner is craving. The feeling of not knowing what might happen next. Just as the wrong words can upend a marriage, the right words can restore it. If couples can take just a little more time sharing with each other what is good about their relationship, they will shift their focus away from what might be boring.

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The problem with boredom in a marriage is that it can quickly lead to infidelity, divorce and other methods of escape.

Please contact support fatherly. Like fatherly on Facebook. Something went wrong please at support fatherly. By Jeremy Brown. Well, It Depends….

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But before you panic, the good news is that there are ways to save a marriage from the dreaded plague of boredom.


Family and other relationships.


At the beginning of a marriage , everything feels new and exciting.