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What does bisexual mean to you?
I remembered a conversation I had with a bisexual female who approached me in India whilst I was writing my book. She told me all the struggles she has faced being bisexual in the USA, how others in her community view and treat her and the impact this has in her relationships. She stated that lesbians and gay men have it so much easier. I did my own research last weekusing my LinkedIn network and every single respondent stated:. Can you imagine not feeling like you fit in anywhere?
That blows my mind. Imagine if that was your sister, brother, best friend or. Everything you read, watch, hear and experience in day to day life subconsciously expresses to you what is accepted in society. These messages come from our family, friends, education system, the workplace, justice system, political system, the media, religion, culture to name a few.
In school I learnt only about heterosexual relationships. More recently, we have seen an increase in the of mainstream TV programmes with lesbian, gay and transgender characters. Yet, bi erasure is still evident. We are not taught about what being bisexual means and what bisexual relationships could look like. People choose not to come out, which impacts on their physical and mental health, as does bi erasure in society.
I want to address a few of those, in the hope that this increases your awareness and understanding. Bisexuality is looked upon with confusion by gay people, lesbians and straight people alike. Here are a few of the things my bi clients have heard from others that have ificantly impacted on their mental health, self-worth and self-esteem.
You get the idea. All of these are perceptions formed from societal conditioning — not based on any truth or fact. Social conditioning is the source of most of our judgements, criticisms, fears and unkindness towards others. Unchallenged thoughts.
Unexplored beliefs. There are no other options. When I hear that I instantly think of the gender binary and how society struggles with anything outside of that. Explain it to me.
You know what it feels like to wear a mask to protect the real version of yourself from being on show. You wear different masks for different environments and situations that you find yourself in. At work, in your relationships, socially, with family — you name it, you have a mask for it.
You create a mask to protect you. And to hide certain elements of the real you. This is a version of yourself that you have honed over the years. All you really want is to fit in and to be accepted.
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You read the statistics in the survey above. Growing up in a heterosexual world and experiencing social conditioning from a young age, LGB people have a few more layers to their masks than straight people. A few more things to hide and overcome, under certain situations and with specific people. I would argue that bisexual people have more complex masks and layers than lesbians and gay men — since they are less accepted in society. It is reported that the reason there are fewer same-sex couples and marriages with bisexual people is because there is a smaller pool of people.
In a report published by the Home Officeit is stated that between andthere has been a:.
The B in LGB is real. Or gay. Or lesbian.
Coming out (repeatedly)
It is what it is. You are not your sexuality. You are so much more than that. We all want the same thing. To be loved and to love.
Who you choose to direct and receive that love from is of no concern to anyone other than you. I embrace everyone in my community; whether gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, questioning, queer, intersex, straight. Creator of the Authentic Self Process, Gina teaches how to be your Authentic Self with your family and at work, leading transformative retreats, bespoke training and individual coaching programmes.
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Ask brook… a guide to sexual health & wellbeing
up. Close cookies notice. Enable Recite to make this website accessible. Back to Articles. I think she has a point. There are MANY misconceptions about being bisexual. Bisexuals are just going through a phase. Being bisexual is a student thing. People come out as bisexual to soften the blow of coming out as gay or lesbian.
You are just confused.
You have to pick a side. Are you going to be gay or straight this weekend? You are greedy.
All women are bisexual. Bisexuals are attracted to anything that moves. Bisexuals live for threesomes. The Masks We Wear You know what it feels like to wear a mask to protect the real version of yourself from being on show. Relationships It is reported that the reason there are fewer same-sex couples and marriages with bisexual people is because there is a smaller pool of people.
My thoughts and observations. In a relationship, when one person is bisexual and the other is a lesbian, often the lesbian feels threatened. I have worked with a of lesbians that are in relationships with bisexual women and they all had real issues around feeling insecure, anxious and an underlying uncertainty in the relationship.