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Samantha Ray Mears was charged in June with entering the home of her former boyfriend while he was out.


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I am a year-old woman 11 years out of a year marriage. Either I have shrunk or he is just a big lad after 30 years of monogamy, I am not exactly au fait with penis sizes.

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It makes me feel sad and inadequate. We pleasure each other in other ways, but it would appear penetration is off the table.

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Before I consult a doctorwhat am I doing wrong? You are not doing anything wrong.

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In fact, it is wonderful that you understand the erotic value of non-penetrative sex. Some men with atypically large penises struggle to find women who can accommodate them, but it is not certain that your friend falls into this category. After a long period of abstinence — and most likely hormonal diminution — some women do experience some vaginal atrophy that restricts penetration with a penis of any size.

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Consider experimenting with gentle self-penetration once you are aroused through masturbation use lubrication ; this may help you understand your current genital physiology. But most likely, if you want to receive penetration comfortably again, it would be wise to consult a sexual medicine professional who may be able to help.

Typical treatments include hormone therapy, sex therapy and vaginal dilation.

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Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders. If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private. Each week, Pamela chooses one problem to answer, which will be published online.

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She regrets that she cannot enter into personal correspondence. Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.

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Comments on this piece are premoderated to ensure discussion remains on topics raised by the writer. Please be aware there may be a short delay in comments appearing on the site.

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Sexual healing Life and style. My new sexual partner is too big for me — what can I do?

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Whether I have shrunk or he is particularly well endowed, it makes me feel sad and inadequate. Composite: Getty. Pamela Stephenson Connolly.

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Wed 21 Jul Topics Life and style Sexual healing Relationships Sex features. Reuse this content.

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