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A lot of girls who play exclusively on my team team lez are super snobby about bi girls. And I sort of get it. A lesbian I once knew me had her heart smashed into a million little pieces when she dated a bisexual, who decided after three intense months of hot steamy sex and endless sweet nothings, she preferred boys. Hell hath no fury like a dyke left for a man. This is year-old me after I was left for a man. I was a chain-smoking hot mess.


But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions?

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Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a d sex psychotherapist based in San Francisco, to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous. Any thoughts?

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Famous sex researcher Alfred Kinsey believed that sexual identity was a continuum, with gay on one end and straight on the other. He theorized that most people fall somewhere in the middle, meaning most of us are "a little gay" or "a little straight.

Experience pleasure, passion of online dating or bisexual hookups

In my professional and personal experience, most people tend to have at least some interest in being with a member of the same sex. Here's how to go about exploring. Some people get anxious about what their bi-curiosity "means. The questions I hear most frequently from women are, "Does this make me bi? Let me make this absolutely clear: You get to choose how you identify yourself, and with whom you want to share this information. Start by exploring the idea of hooking up with another woman using your imagination.

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This may sound like an overly simplistic piece of advice, but it can be quite useful. Think through discrete sexual acts, like kissing, groping, or oral sex, and notice which ones seem appealing and which ones seem out of your comfort zone.

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Try masturbating while fantasizing about being with another woman. Pay attention to how your mind reacts, and compare that to how your body responds.

Scissr dating app: the new tinder for lesbians?

If you want even more of a trial run before doing anything physical, try flirting with women out in public or putting a profile up on an online dating site. See how taking these additional steps makes you feel.

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Plenty of women have had drunken make-out sessions with their girlfriends, especially in college. Friends are easy because you already have a certain level of comfort with each other.

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However, it can make things awkward between the two of you the next day. Finding someone to hook up with can feel a little embarrassing, and might take some time.

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See if you can strike up a little flirtation. You can also try online dating sitesor look into LGBT support groups at your university.

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A lot of women end up exploring their bi-curiosity while tipsy. Have fun!

Wait, what’s the definition of bisexual?

Plenty of men are open to the idea of their girlfriends experimenting with another woman. You can talk through your interests and ask what his comfort level is.

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Of course, be aware that he may not want you fooling around with other people, regardless of their gender. Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage?

You can have an unforgettable bisexual female hookup!

Check out our new podcast, I Want It That Waywhich delves into the difficult and downright dirty parts of a relationship, and find more on our Soundcloud. Want more sex?

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Of course you do. So download Bustle's app from iTunes for all the most recent sex and relationships news, advice, memes, and GIFs from around the Web. Guaranteed to fulfill you more than your ex.

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By Vanessa Marin. What Does It All Mean?

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Sexual desires and romantic feelings are two different things here some people.


The world's first, largest, secure and most effective dating site for bisexual, bi-curious singles and bi couples.


YOU are an essential part of what we do.


Are you feeling a little, uh, " bi-curious " and don't know what to do about it?