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  • Years old:
  • I am 44
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  • I'm female
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  • In my spare time I love mountain climbing
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Are your orgasms more fizzle than sizzle? If your climaxes seem like a lot of work for not much payoff, the reasons could be physical or psychological, could be technique, or could be you just need a little help from some "friends. When we have low libido, inability to orgasm, or our quality of orgasm is not as strong as it used to be, can anything be done?

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You need to be fully present, says Ellen Barnardsex educator, sex counselor, and spokesperson for the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists. Shut down the. When you are distracted with life, you are essentially on the bleachers during sex when you should be focused on the playing field.

A study published in the September issue of the Journal of Sexual Research found that orgasm ability increased 30 percent with either a four-session or an eight-session mindfulness program for women.

Remember that you are more than just genitals; the body is filled with many nerve endings. Tapping into your undiscovered sexual pleasure zones everyone is different can intensify the experience and orgasmic potential.

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Each partner draws an outline of the front and back of their body, then they draw on areas where they want to be touched, are up for something new, and want to avoid. You could use color codes: Green means full speed ahead, red means stay away, and yellow means proceed with caution, instructions to follow.

Then each explains to the other what they mean. Krychman, who is also the coauthor of The Sexual Spark. Certain diseases diabetes and medications selective serotonin reuptake inhibitorsanticonvulsants can affect the ability to reach orgasm. Barnard says that the issues for which you would want to get medical advice are trouble getting aroused, difficulty getting an erection or maintaining one, and a general lack of sensation during arousal or orgasm.

Original research article

Did you know that there are pelvic therapy specialists out there? You can get assessed by these specialists if you suspect that physical therapy might be necessary. In addition to more obvious workouts, like Pilates or yoga, which help strengthen the pelvic floor while exercising your whole body, some physical therapy studios, such as the Herman and Wallace Pelvic Rehabilitation Institute, specialize in pelvic floor health.

Practice exercises that relax those muscles.

There are a variety of gadgets out there intended to intensify stimulation or increase your ability to feel sensation in different parts of your body. You could have nipple stimulation at the same time that you have other stimulation.

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Everyone is different; explore what works for you. Vibrators come in all sizes, speeds, materials, and price points, and can hit many erogenous spots or just stay with one. If you are not sure what you like hard vibrations or gentles pulses? If you are too shy to go to a brick-and-mortar store, turn on the private browser feature on your computer. Plenty of online stores are discreet.

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Health Topics. Health Tools. Sexual Health. Last Updated: April 6, Medically Reviewed. Focus, Focus, Focus! Get a Medical Checkup with Your Physician Certain diseases diabetes and medications selective serotonin reuptake inhibitorsanticonvulsants can affect the ability to reach orgasm. Hecht recommends these moves to ease tight pelvic muscles: Happy Baby Pose Lie on your back and bring both knees to your chest.

Bending at the knee, raise the lower part of your legs straight up in the air. Keep your feet flexed and hold on at the soles. Pull your feet so that you are pulling your knees toward the floor.

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You are stretching and opening your pelvic floor. Inner Thigh Groin Stretch Sit on the floor with your legs spread straight to each side as far as you can go.

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Breathe rhythmically as you lean forward and then over each leg so you feel a stretch in the inner thighs. Proper Kegels Squeeze your anal and vaginal region tight for five seconds to start. Breathe through it. Work up to 10 seconds.

Sex and sleep: perceptions of sex as a sleep promoting behavior in the general adult population

Release slowly and relax fully. Wait for 10 seconds before trying again. If you work up to 10 seconds, rest for Do 10 repetitions. Then do a faster squeeze: Squeeze the anal-vaginal area for a second and relax for two seconds.

Exhale in rhythm during the squeeze, inhaling during the relaxation. Do two sets of 10 reps once a day.

Kegels strengthen and stabilize the core. Barnard recommends: Use an erection ring with a vibrator or a vibrator externally on the penis; playing with a vibrator under the head at the frenulum is a good technique to increase the intensity of stimulation of the nerves that trigger orgasm. A pump or erection ring can intensify erections. This makes access to the nerves easier.

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Add prostate stimulation with a finger, a prostate stimulator like one of the Aneros devices, or a vibrator intended for prostate stimulation. This stimulates more sensory nerves and can increase the odds of achieving orgasm. Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking. Paterson LQP, et al.

Have the most satisfying sex possible

Journal of Sexual Research. September Herbenick D, et al. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy. February 17,

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