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Dear Lifehacker, Every time I give my girlfriend a back massage, I kind of give up early because my arms get tired and I'm not sure if I'm doing it right. I'd like to get better at it, though, and I also have my own tension especially in my shoulders I'd like to massage out. Do you have any massage tips I can use? Dear AM, It's an interesting predicament, isn't it: Few of us are born with innate massaging skills, yet virtually all of us love to give and receive good massages. Because of the many benefits of massage— relieving pain and reducing stress—learning to give a better massage to yourself or your partner can be profound, and everyone can do it. I spoke with expert masseuse and founder of Elements Therapeutic MassageMichele Merhib, to gather some tips for increasing your massage-fu.


The lights are dim.

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The music is just right. And you've got a brilliant idea: You're going to give your your partner or person you're hooking up with—no judgement a massage. So you get to work, kneading the knots out of the shoulders.

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That's when the shrieks start "Ow! Though you'd think that any massage is a good massage, it's certainly not the case.

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There are definitely some rules of thumb no pun intended to follow when trying to give the gift of physical touch. Another important thing to remember is that you shouldn't take it upon yourself to relieve any major cricks. As for assuming the position: There are many reasons why you might want to move things to the bedroom ahemincluding comfort.

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Your arms will undoubtedly get tired after about five minutes, so our expert advises having your partner lie down so you don't have to keep your arms raised. And most importantly, don't forget to switch when you've finished off.

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After all, there's always some give-take in a good relationship. Graphic: Hannah Packer.

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Use your nails to scratch the head slightly for an added chill down the spine. Yes, that's a good thing! Warm up your partner's back with soft, long, gliding strokes using both hands.

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Do 10 repetitions. For other ways to make your partner happy, here's how to bring the excitement back into a long-term relationship.

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Or head to the gym— working out regularly could actually rev up your sex life in surprising ways. Become an Insider.

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At Advanced Massage Professionals, we believe that massage is the perfect gift for almost anyone on any occasion.


A good massage feels like a love letter to your entire body.


Health Topics.


Often, we just want someone to work out the knot in our back or crick in our neck—something your ificant other may request from time to time.