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Sponsored ad This sponsor paid to have this advertisement placed in this section. How do you manage terminal uniqueness when you are in fact unique? A minority AA member from Portland reports.
It was deed to help alcoholic men fix their lives to go on to become better providers, fathers, husbands and sons. The main guiding voice, left to your own interpretation, is Him. He suggests the framework in which your quest for sanity and sobriety should look like.
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It is up to the individual to decide for themselves what their program will look like. Every time, that bearded iconic image would appear in my head. I am Aa lesbians only minority within a minority within a minority: In recovery, woman, lesbian. Out of a sense of survival, I have sought out meetings based on where I feel most comfortable in lieu, sometimes, of where the most nurturing form of recovery might be.
Nobody ever told me it was ok to question where the suggestions were coming from; they just told me to follow suit as the AA forefathers did, and to see it as a blessing. I have tried all kinds of tricks and program-related suggestions to work this out. Young people in recovery are dominated by straight people, and I found overall I typically had nothing in common with younger members beyond our shared alcoholism. These are real fears in my real life and inside of AA, two things I have learned to keep mostly separate.
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I think it is the overall tone in which our members are socialized in their own lives and how they take that into our safer space of AA. I was hoping to find some women I could identify with, my own age, who were lesbian. When I got there Aa lesbians only noticed there were only a bunch of men, mostly older, and I immediately thought I had misread the schedule.
I was the only female in a group of 20 or so men. I felt embarrassed and wanted to run out the door as fast and discreetly as possible. I stayed for the meeting and returned a couple of times before I decided to make it my home group. My decision to stay was based on the insecure and helpless feeling I got when I entered the room and found only men. I wanted to be there in case any women showed up.
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Balancing principles before personalities can be challenging when your mental safety depends on whoever is in the room. I have some really sweet gay friends in that group, but for the most part I feel trapped and forced to accept it. I have learned to accept what I have and make it work, but what is it about women my age I'm 35 in recovery? Do they exist? Where are they?
When I asked what the old-timers thought the reason was a topic they never consider until I bring it up they said it maybe had "something to do with gay vs. I question the principles before personalities sometimes in reflection of my own experiences. Is it a matter of acceptance?
Is it something I am doing wrong? Does it really matter? It does matter.
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As a woman I am socialized to be passive, to acquiesce so as not to seem aggressive. But as a lesbian I have learned that safety is first in matter of heart and health—and to fight for it. When is the last time you thought, "Wow, I wish I had more straight people to identify with in recovery"?
Being a minority is real everywhere you go. Sexism, institutionalized racism and misogyny exist in AA too. At what point am I allowed to talk about it there?
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Sometimes backing off means being terribly scared and uncomfortable Believe in yourself.
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